New to Grad School? Do Not Panic

A recent message from a beginning grad student reminded me to post something on the pre-Ph.D., even pre-MA stage.

If you have spent the last year freaking out, then you are perfectly normal. US and European societies supposedly lack rituals but becoming a grad student is one heck of a rite of passage.

I remember I forgot how to think. I just couldn't make sense of my thoughts enough to string them together into an argument. Then I forgot how to write. I kept thinking “There must be some extra sentence that bridges from this one to that one...but where is it?”

Then I forgot how to read. Huge chasms opened up between sentences on printed pages. How did the author get from one idea to the other? It all seemed so impossible.

This is perfectly normal. You are experiencing a huge mental upgrade as you start questioning everything you think. It's a natural phase of being a grad student. It's odd if you are a 4.0 undergrad and you suddenly feel like you can only get B- at best. I totally collapsed. I almost didn't recover until a sharp jolt from part of the Ph.D. qualifying process forced me to find some kind of mojo. I wanted everything to be watertight. It can't be.

So if you're sitting there thinking “Why oh why did I choose this path?” you know you have chosen the right path. If on the other hand you feel totally psyched and confident there may be something wrong with you...