Nature is not natural and can never be naturalized — Graham Harman

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Proverbs of Buddhaphobia (Object-Oriented Buddhism 27)

I was taking a stroll in the icy depths of the Cold Hell yesterday afternoon, when I encountered the soul of a sophisticated intellectual of our age. Spinning around in circles, he was desperately trying to kill his own shadow. In words of ice that fell upon the rocks with a dull clink, he told me the following proverbs.

•Nothing in Buddhism compares with St. Paul, the greatest guy ever to have changed his mind. Ever.
•We killed God in 33AD. These Western Buddhists are spoiling my Hegelian plot.
•SHE is a New Ager. YOU are a Buddhist. But I am a Zizekian.
•There is no big other. But these Western Buddhists they tell me about are a piece of work.
•In the intellectual life, NOTHING is as important as cultivating the ULTIMATE attitude towards everything else.
•Sadistic probing is my Kantian duty.
•The sight of Western Buddhists trying to solve their pain in a confused way fills me with contempt.
•From my Fortress of Ironic Solitude, I WEEP WITH PITY for the hypocrite fools beneath me.
•My sense of irony is superior to your crude emotion. I FEEL superior, sophisticated.
•This ironic stance gives me x ray vision of others' inner states. I FEEL tremendous sadistic curiosity about that.
•There's no point in doing anything unless you do it perfectly. Practice what you preach I always say
•I FERVENTLY BELIEVE that cynicism must expose hypocrisy. It's far more sophisticated than you stating your feelings.
•Buddhists should have no feelings. And communists should have no possessions.
•Enlightenment is merely subjective destitution. Been there, done that.
•Coldness and hate are more real than softness and warmth.
•Why practice compassion or mindfulness when you can thrill to the pitiless cynicism of Agent Smith?
•The most precious aim of life is to SEE THROUGH EVERYTHING
•I will not succumb to sadness or tenderness. Dualism requires merciless guilt and shame.
•I sneer therefore I am.
•The most important thing you can ever feel is "X is none other than Y." That is your mantra
•The mind is hell. Heaven and earth are illusions.
•Ontology is nothing. Howl! Howl!
•I am an atheist. There is nothing. Believe in nothing.
•At least I never committed to anything
•My epitaph: I SUSSED YOU ALL


Unknown said...

What about the Principle of non-contradiction?

Aaron said...

Stalinism is the overcompensatory hypermasculinity of the Buddhist closet.

Nick Guetti said...

You're freakin' hilarious! :-))