Wow I could've sworn therapy was about talking quietly in a safe space about feelings. Until I met the most demonic exponent of the not-quite-right cognitive-behavioral therapy, yesterday at ------------.
I've advanced training in handling oneself in intense situations--it's called 7 years of group psychoanalysis, try it sometime haha--but even I was cringing.
When pressed by said exponent--"Hey! Are you paying attention?" I said "Yeah, I'm just choosing to lower my gaze because of the intensity in this room." Didn't go down well.
Apparently one's own emotions are fine. It's other people's that are the problem. Ain't life a pest?
Exponent practically snapped fingers at me. Exponent did drop one edge of a piece of paper on the table, somehow creating the sound of a hand slapping that table.
And leaned across it, and touched people, and got up and walked around. Even the other staff person in the room was too terrified to talk.
None of those are cool in a therapy situation.
But to deliver such things with normotic raised voice and super high pitched loud fake laugh after every sentence and the red jacket from the dwarf in Twin Peaks.
And talking in the most condescending and infantilizing way.
That's called positive outcomes I guess? Exponent couldn't even handle my quietness.
In the corridor I suggested using polysyllables. I don't recall the response but it was delivered very fast, with a fake laugh, and a flighty-or-fighty enraged retreat at speed. All I did was say a sentence, about syllables, quietly and with some kind of non-critical stance.
This is all way, way beyond the threshold of affirmative sufficient to send Adorno into cardiac arrest.
Relative x was tearing up and I was singing "Is There Life on Mars" in my head just to deal. And I'm a grownup. A trained one.
There's an implicit message in any case in CBT that emotions are bad and must be deleted, in the last instance. Exponent called it being (shout and fake laugh) "FREE!"
And who doesn't like freedom?
Asked to describe what emotion Example A in Not Great Condescending Explanation 1 was feeling, relative x said "Well, shades of grey 3.453223..."
At which exponent yelled "Black, or white?"
Answer: black. All emotions are black. Transparent is best. Example C, Well-Adjusted Person, didn't appear to be having an emotion, according to exponent.