Nature is not natural and can never be naturalized — Graham Harman

Sunday, January 24, 2016

My nervous little Texan driving colleagues, allow me to teach you how to turn left at the lights

0. If there's a turn signal, wait until you can use it. But if there isn't:

1. When the light goes green, drive nice and slow into the middle of the box shape between the four intersecting streets.

2. When there's a nice gap in traffic on your left, turn left.

You will find you are able to execute 2 in a leisurely way but with panache almost automatically.

If there's a car turning right, it can do so simultaneously now. Nice! In the UK it's called an offside-offside turn.

This will obviate:

A. Turning super fast in front of me when it's my right of way and nearly getting us killed.

B. Turning super fast just as the lights go red and it's the other guy's right of way.

Is driving right out into the middle as I'm suggesting too scary, or too exposing, or what? What is it, because it must be intense: you would rather we both be killed than have that happen, whatever it is.

Killed in your great big fearsome confidence-mobile. So-called. Quite probably with a cattle grille or bullbar as you say in front. But still you're scared to turn left.

You know taxes are really bad but you don't know this?

I'm sort of begging here, at this point.


D. E.M. said...

So funny. Pull into the fucking middle for the love of christ.

johnk said...

Anonymous said...

And if one survives the apres collision my rights extend to your bumper thingy shootout then one is a the nazz in Houston. Think of other drivers as amoral agents reordering your spatial awareness instead of reminding you that certain objects do not wish to withdraw.