IPCC: The Rules

The Intra-Planetary Concerned Critters abide by the following rules, when they hold press conferences in tandem with the official IPCC, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. 

The initial tasks for the IPCC will be a series of press conferences, just like the IPCC hold. 

At these press conferences, possibly held in the lobbies of the places where the IPCC is holding theirs, the following will be the case: 

Anyone can be on the IPCC panel. Philosophers, artists, scientists, normal people, anyone. 

There can be many IPCCs. 

Members of the IPCC wear animal hats. The human face should be visible and audible but other lifeforms should be present in some way. 

The sillier the hat, the better. The Council of All Beings is a Deep Ecology practice created by Joanna Macy. One makes an animal mask and speaks to the other animal mask wearers about the pain of the planet. This is very moving but it's preaching to the choir. And it needs a bit of humor. 

Enough with the apocalypse already! 

Okay, so here are the rules I've been drawing up. Feel free to discuss and modify them here. 

1. Keep it as gentle as possible. That doesn't mean you can't be outrageous. On a meek platform, be perky, outrageous and inscrutable. Aggression and shouting facts won't work and will deplete your mojo.

2. The main thing is to amaze, bedazzle and otherwise be miraculous.

3. Don't argue. You are not trying to persuade people, you are trying to instill a sense of wonderment, laughter, surprise and compassion.

4. Comedy is deeper than tragedy. You can be tragic but within a more profound comic frame. Don't fan the flames of doom!

5. You are not trying to stop the end of the world. It has already ended. Instead, work with the surprise, uncanniness and ultimately relief that "we are already dead."

6. Try to speak as your chosen lifeform as much as you can but you can always break out of role. This is silly, confusing and fun.

7. Be a trickster. 

Your view: we never left the Paleolithic, as human bodies and as anxious beings who can be scared and paranoid and hysterical with laughter. This there is no need to return anywhere or progress into the future. All we have to do is notice where we are really at. 

8. If someone in the audience challenges you don't fight them. Join them. Admit as much as you can the silliness of the situation and agree with their ridicule.