Strange Loop Screenplays

It's like the Reduced Shakespeare. Only instead of imagining that we need to know what happens as quickly as possible at the expense of the texture of the play, imagine that the characters know that they are in a movie.

Cooper: So...how many planets are we visiting?
Brand: Three.
Cooper: Okay, so we know that the third will be okay, because it's not that kind of movie. So let's go there.
Romilly: But that would drastically curtail the proleptic irony.
Cooper: Oh, right.
Doyle: So, what's on the first planet?
Romilly: We can assume it's bad. Where is it?
Doyle: It's orbiting that gigantic black hole.
Brand: That should be a clue, people! Anything down there will be subject to a massive tidal pull. And physical obstacles are stark and best to encounter up front, rather than more subtle character-based obstacles.
Cooper: Okay. Maybe we can get away with discussing why not to go there for some time. Or maybe just a few of us will go down. Doyle, come with me, because you have to die first: you have a beard and we don't know anything about your back story.
Romilly: Remember that we're also trying to avoid the blatant racist form where the black guy gets killed first.
Doyle: Good point!
Brand: And that will give me and Cooper a chance to have a fight that prepares the way for our eventual fusion.
Cooper: So...the first planet is physically very bad news. Which means that...
Brand: The second one will be bad news psychologically.
Cooper: Exactly! Okay, that means someone is going to try to kill us or drastically thwart us. Who's down there?
Doyle: Matt Damon.
Cooper: Is this Good Will Hunting?
Romilly: No.
Cooper: So we can assume it's evil Matt Damon. Goddammit. Why did it have to be evil Matt Damon? He's gonna kick my ass. Romilly, I'm sorry--because we already know this is a love story and because Brand and I have exchanged barbs early on enough in the movie to convince us all that we will eventually fall in love, I'm afraid you are the one whom evil Damon will kill. DE-tach!

etc....