I just increased the gain on my practice. I have to do 100 000 mantras of Vajrasattva, a 100 syllable mantra.
Now I remember why I was blowing it off. The purification process (Vajrasattva is a shower that wipes your karma) can make me feel like shit!
It's quite the opposite of what you think, you know. You think meditation makes you into a floaty pod person. That's only if you're not doing it right!
On the blog An Und Fur sich, if I remember correctly, there was a discussion on using secular theoretical texts as devotionals, are there any texts you can recommend as mantras? I can think of a few that could make me feel shit (and no, I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing either).
ReplyDeleteWell... what happened to "illusion-like spiritual liberation"? Actually your post reminds that this is as good a time a time as any to ask about shame -- what about it? Does it figure?
ReplyDeleteMany lamas, especially those like Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche, have said that when doing Vajrasattva, one should generate deep regret, as deep as you can go, even to the point of tears (and perhaps beyond)... I heard a lama recently discussing shame, saying "Oh yes, the Buddha taught about shame, which is necessary for the Buddhist practitioner... however most Westerners don't want to go there, they think it's some bad holdover from old oppressive monotheistic and moralizing religions, or something..."
It hit me... that just as dislike, when it deepens eventually becomes hatred, doesn't "regret" when it deepens become shame? And so I am asking humbly (which means, still disingenuously)... what role, if any, does shame have your Buddhist practice? Do you engage in its suchness even without having to provisionally posit a label for it?